I’m out there on some of the facebook groups that answer questions and alert others to scammers and possible scammers and I really applaud those who came up with this forum to help advise and check each others thinking.
Today, as I prepare for another interview as a guest on a podcast program to share my own experiences, I am thinking about what others are currently experiencing and how my book can help them.
Yesterday I posted the questionnaire designed to help someone who isn’t sure if they are being scammed use the questions to assess their situation.
Today, I am going to share one of the chapters that I believe will be useful to someone in the early stages before they start to lose money:
The First Financial Ask – Setting the Stage
Three months into their conversations, Greg dropped the first ask.
Nothing big. Nothing obvious.
🚩 Common First Requests:
✅ “Can you help me pick out a gift for my daughter?”
✅ “I need to send money home, but my accounts are frozen. Can I send it to you, and you forward it?”
✅ “I lost my wallet while traveling. Can you cover a small fee?”
Greg never begged or pushed.
🚨 Victims justify the first payment because it feels like a favor, not a scam.
The First “Yes”—Opening the Door to Future Manipulation
Greg knew that getting Jenny to say “yes” for the first time was the hardest part.
Once she agreed to something—no matter how small—her resistance would weaken. Each small step would feel reasonable, logical, and even self-directed. By the time the real manipulation started, she would already be convinced that helping him was her choice.
The Psychology of the First “Yes”
Greg leaned back, watching Ben absorb the lesson. “The first time a woman does something for you—no matter how small—you’ve already won half the battle,” he said.
Ben frowned. “Even if it’s something tiny?”
Greg smirked. “Especially if it’s something tiny. Because once someone does a favor for you, they subconsciously start to see you as someone worth helping. And the next time, it gets easier.”
1. The Setup: Making the First “Yes” Feel Safe
Greg never started with money. That would have been too obvious.
Instead, he laid the groundwork for trust by making small, seemingly harmless requests.
✔️ Asking for her opinion:
• “I was thinking of getting a gift for my daughter. Do you think she’d like this?”
• “You know more about this than I do—what’s your advice?”
✔️ Encouraging her to invest emotionally:
• “I’d love to hear your thoughts on something personal.”
• “Tell me about your childhood. I want to understand you better.”
📌 Why This Works:
✅ She starts feeling personally involved in his life.
✅ It establishes a dynamic where she is helping him.
✅ It makes her more likely to agree when he asks for something real.
Ben nodded. “So the first ‘yes’ isn’t about money—it’s about engagement.”
Greg smiled. “Exactly. If she’s invested emotionally, money becomes secondary.”
2. The “Soft Ask”—A First Favor That Feels Like Nothing
Once Jenny was engaged, Greg introduced the first real favor.
✔️ Something that cost her nothing:
• “Can you help me with something small?”
• “Could you check this for me?”
✔️ Something that made her feel useful:
• “I need a U.S. website to check something—can you look for me?”
• “I’m locked out of a site because I’m overseas—could you check my email for a code?”
📌 Why This Works:
✅ She feels helpful without feeling like she’s being used.
✅ It’s a “favor” that doesn’t require much effort, making it easier to agree.
✅ It subtly establishes a pattern—he asks, she helps.
Ben smirked. “And then when she helps once, she’s more likely to do it again.”
Greg grinned. “Exactly. It’s called the ‘foot-in-the-door’ technique. One small act of compliance makes future compliance much easier.”
3. The First Financial Ask—Framed as a No-Risk Gesture
Greg never directly asked for money at first. That would have been a red flag. Instead, he made sure that the first financial ask felt completely safe.
✔️ It wasn’t framed as giving him money—it was just ‘helping with logistics.’
• “I just need to pay a small fee for a package. Can I send you the tracking info?”
• “They won’t let me process this from overseas. Could you handle it for me, and I’ll reimburse you?”
✔️ It wasn’t urgent or desperate—it was a practical request.
• “I’d take care of it myself, but I’m restricted here.”
• “If it’s a problem, don’t worry about it—I’ll figure something out.”
📌 Why This Works:
✅ It doesn’t feel like sending money—it feels like helping.
✅ It creates a situation where she expects to be reimbursed, making her feel safe.
✅ It doesn’t seem like an emergency, avoiding suspicion.
Ben frowned. “But what if she hesitates?”
Greg shrugged. “Then I back off. The trick is to make her feel like she’s in control, even though I’m guiding her every step of the way.”
4. Reinforcing the First “Yes”—Making Her Feel Good About It
Once Jenny agreed to anything, Greg made sure she felt great about it.
✔️ He showered her with gratitude:
• “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
• “You’re such a kind and generous soul.”
✔️ He linked it to their growing relationship:
• “This just proves what I already knew—you’re an incredible person.”
• “It means the world to me that you’d do this.”
📌 Why This Works:
✅ She feels appreciated, making her more likely to help again.
✅ She associates helping him with feeling valued and loved.
✅ She starts seeing herself as someone who supports him.
Ben nodded. “So she feels good about saying yes, and that makes it easier the next time.”
Greg smirked. “Exactly. And once she’s helped me once, she’ll have a hard time saying no later.”
5. Setting Up the Next “Yes”—The Illusion of Progress
Greg never stopped at just one ask.
✔️ Every time she helped, he made sure there was a “next step.”
• “The package is moving! Just one last step to get it cleared.”
• “The flight is booked—just need to finalize the details.”
✔️ He always made it feel like she was almost done helping.
• “I swear, after this, there’s nothing else.”
• “You’ve already done so much—this is just the last part.”
📌 Why This Works:
✅ She doesn’t feel trapped—she thinks she’s almost done.
✅ It keeps her invested in seeing the situation through.
✅ It prevents her from realizing how much she’s actually done.
Ben raised an eyebrow. “So she’s always helping with ‘one last thing,’ but there’s always something else?”
Greg grinned. “Exactly. By the time she realizes how much she’s given, it’s too late to back out.”
Final Thought: The First “Yes” Is the Most Powerful
Greg leaned back, tapping his fingers against the table.
✔️ Getting Jenny to say “yes” once wasn’t just about that moment.
✔️ It was about making every future “yes” feel inevitable.
✔️ Once she helped him once, she was already in the web.
And the best part?
She wouldn’t even realize it.
This is an excerpt from the book Breaking Free: How Scammers Manipulate and How to Fight Back
Be sure to let me know what you think by dropping a review on Amazon or GoodReads after you finish reading your copy!