Have you ever given so much to others that you ended up drained, resentful, or even taken advantage of? It’s a hard truth, but toxic generosity — when giving turns into self-sacrifice — can happen to the best of us.

It can sneak up in two powerful ways:

• Through people we’ve known for years, who slowly take more than they give.
• Through scammers, who expertly manipulate our kindness for their gain.

The twist? Both count on us not listening to reason.

Familiar Faces Can Take Advantage Too

When we know someone well, we instinctively let our guard down. We convince ourselves:

• “They’re family, I should help.”
• “They’ve always counted on me.”
• “I don’t want to be the bad guy.”

But history doesn’t always equal healthy.

Some people we’ve known for years will lean on us because they know we won’t push back.

Scammers: Strangers Who Pretend to Care

On the flip side, scammers create a manufactured connection.

They use urgency, flattery, and emotional pressure to bypass your gut feelings.

Their strategy: make you feel needed so you act without thinking.

They don’t care about you. They care about what they can take from you.

The Solution: Trusted Advisors Save Us

Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a stranger, the safeguard is the same:

✅ Slow down.

✅ Talk to someone you trust.

We need wise people in our lives who aren’t emotionally entangled in the situation — people who can say:

• “This isn’t safe.”
• “You’re giving too much.”
• “You’re not responsible for fixing this.”

It can be hard to hear, especially when your identity is tied to being generous. But trusted advisors are not trying to steal your kindness — they’re trying to save you from yourself.

Use the “Gut Check” Checklist

Before you give, before you offer your time, money, or emotional energy — run through the Gut Check Checklist I’ve created.

If you hit even one major red flag — pause. Talk to someone you trust.

Generosity should lift people, not destroy you.

Your kindness is beautiful — but it has to include yourself.

🔗 Read more and download the checklist at zoeymichaels.com/updates

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